Daily Prompt: What are your thoughts on aging? How will you stay young at heart as you get older?
Aging is an amazing and scary at the same time to me. You feel like you can do a lot more things with more energy, longer limbs, stronger heart, brain, skill, etc. But you’d also feel like have missed a lot in your life.
I experienced my life mostly in the ‘inside’ where emotions and ideas collide. I didn’t and don’t really get out a lot. As an only child who likes reading ghost stories more than playing soccer with my cousins, I felt like it would be amazing to be able to create my own world, my own kingdom. It doesn’t have to be a medieval-themed kingdom, it can be as mystical and impossible as you want. I would create portal or magical wooden door appears in my room’s wall and someone would beg me to go in there for a quest involving magical items and wizardy or psychic powers that would possess me.
But then even at the time, I felt like I had not enough time and space to live in my own dream world. I enjoyed reading before bed. I liked it when I had to add another collection into my shelf. I still feel the same about books. I like to read, though ye classic attention span decreasing almost stopped me from reading at all.
Yet, realizing I wasn’t in a kind of environment that support so much imagination and impractical way of thinking, I ended up trying to hard to be “normal” which then became one of the reason why I’m having a few mental problems today. Oh yeah, I’m telling this with all dignitiy and respect. I don’t mind. So don’t worry.
I started to feel young “again” actually just recently when I hit 25. I don’t know why, I just kinda feel like, like I said in the first part, that I’ve missed a lot in my early years of life. I didn’t go out enough, I didn’t touch and interact with enough people, I didn’t talk and stand for my voice enough…everything isn’t enough! Yes, that makes me pretty emotionally insufficient to support my own security and happiness.
But then suddenly…I learned to laugh again, I learned to cry again, I learned to smile that feels like for the very first time in my life. I think this is generally what is called “growing up”. The shirt fits better on your growing body. The soul gets more room to elaborate and use everything you’ve learned so far and burns it into a sum of energy for another business of life. I know, I’ve had this type of deal each year. But this, at this quarter of century of my age, I learned a lot to use ME. To function myself FOR myself. To live a little more than just, “Ah…I’m glad I learned to do this better.” I felt that I started to live for the first time. How did I do it?
I’m still doing it now. Smile. Laugh. Cry. A LOT MORE. Be more receptive and empathetic towards your surrounding. Watch it in alert. They’re all around you. Trees, sun light, trunks, river, kids, boys, girls, and old lady, 90s used Toyota, your mother on the couch, a bowl of salad on her hand… They’re there to be functional and activated by your loving gesture.
Go out and lurk inside. You can jump and you’ll survive. You can hug and you’ll grow love and not everyone has to understand that feeling. You can smile to laugh and clear your mind from negative judgments about the world.
If you think growing up is scary. It is. In a way that you would see things you could have been done earlier. Things you still can do now in any way. You can start with recalling your dreams and fantasies, smile at them and say, “Remember when we used to hang out and have fun? Wanna start again?”
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